// BLOG
Seeing Inside
January 29, 2010
I’m often asked how I came to be called a “spiritual intuitive”. My journey of growing my intuition has been years-long and meandering. Like a river passing through many lands, cultures and eras I have been blessed to share place and time with incredible mentors, leaders, healers, shamans, kahunas, elders and children. That said, one event in particular created a significant change in course.
You may notice that I recommend Brooks Greene-Barton and the Art of God program he teaches in North America and Europe. It was in my second year of the three year program that I had an especially transformative moment. The Art of God intensives are generally 4 days long and involve deep meditation that often leads to strong physical, emotional and energetic reconstruction. It was on the fourth day of one such four day intensive that my eyes changed and my clairaudience, clairvoyance and claircognizance opened fully.
Sitting in meditation led by Brooks, in a circle of about 15 people, we said the phrase, “What I Am as my body”. As usual, I felt my energy flow through me and activate all of my cells – “the surge”, as Hank Wesselman calls it. After 15 minutes or so I gently opened my eyes and slowly turned my head to the left. I looked at the woman sitting next to me, and my eyes began to tear up and flow. I was astonished at her beauty. While I had known her for a few years and was familiar with her external beauty, it was a few moments before I realized that the extraordinary beauty I was seeing included what was happening inside her! I could see into her body!
Small, bright, revolving balls of light, like little suns, were glowing inside her in alignment from her root to her crown. My mind reminded that these must be energy centers. Of course, like most people I had seen illustrations of the energy centers of the body, but I never imagined that I would actually see them. Each center was working independently of the other, each spinning though some faster than others. In my friend, all of her centers were vibrant and active. I watched as the flow of energy between her heart and solar plexus increased. Those centers grew brighter and brighter as she opened in her meditation. I had the thought, “I MUST remember this! What a gift! I may never get this opportunity again!” Quickly, I let that thought go and simply felt gratitude in my heart. The tears of joy continued to flow.
Now moving my gaze past my friend to the person sitting next to her, and next to him, and so on around the circle I realized that I could see inside everyone! Such joy I can hardly express! Again, I felt such gratitude and my mind thought, “Wow! Remember this! It may not come again!”. As quickly, I let go of that thought and simply felt profound gratitude in my heart and throughout my body. I closed my eyes as the tears continued to stream down my smiling face. When I opened them again, my vision had returned to what I used to call “normal”. In gratitude I thought, “What a gift! I am so grateful for this opportunity. If that is the only time I get to experience this, it is enough.”
My next thought was, “what if I could have that experience again?” I opened my eyes and again, the vibrant internal beauty of my fellow artists of God had returned. Again, I looked to the woman on my left and now as I saw her I heard in my mind that she was clearing trauma from her parents, specifically her mother, in relationship to what it meant to be born with a female body. She was graduating from that trauma and coming more fully into her own authority beyond the programming of gender she had inherited from her mom. I watched as her energy centers glowed brilliantly from her root to her heart and then the energy rose through to her crown and beyond. After the meditation, when we all had a chance to share of our experiences, she spoke of the healing she had just experienced with her mom – exactly what I had “heard”.
It was a year before I could publicly acknowledge what had happened. When I told Brooks he smiled and said, “You finally let go of needing your eyes to see the way you had been told they worked. Congratulations!” The gift has not gone away. Occasionally, the ability leaves me when I get into my ego or my mind, though that happens less now. When I experience a limitation to my perceptions I know it’s probably where I’ve stepped out of humility or grace, or have found another place to grow. I am joyfully blessed with the ability to see, hear, and have clear awareness of what is happening inside the experience of my fellow human beings, animals, trees, rocks, mountains. I’ve learned that I can do this without being in the same place as my client, and I now mostly work “remotely”. There seems to be no limit to what can be felt and sensed when I’m willing. If I can do this, anyone can. In fact, I am confident that what I am experiencing is an aspect of a larger natural wave of conscious human evolution.
Before my eyes changed I had been providing coaching and consulting. Now I offer a clearer mirror to those who seek assistance in being more of who they are. I am grateful beyond words.
Mauna Kea New Year
January 1, 2010
Summit of Mauna Kea, Hawaii
I awake at 3am with the clear thought, “Get to the summit of Mauna Kea immediately” I turn to see that Carolyn had awakened as well and is fully alert and ready to rise. With only a few hours of sleep after celebrating my 40th birthday the day before, we recognize immediately what to do. We pack our cold-weather clothes, load the 4 wheel drive pickup and leave our warm, tropical Kona cabana for the 3 hour journey to the mountain.
The landscape between Mauna Loa and Mauna Kea on the Saddle Road is otherworldly as we drive the narrow, winding and steeply climbing passage in the intense full moonlight of the night’s Blue Moon. Lava cones, rolling hills, military buildings, cattle ranches and barren, black frozen lava flows passed by as we speed toward the road leading to the mountain’s summit.
Stopping at the base of that steep, thin road leading up the mountain’s side, we watch the brilliant engorged moon setting on the western horizon. To the east, the sun is just peeking through the thin fog layer that blanketed the Pacific near Hilo. As the sun rises to reveal its full circumference we laugh and gasp in wonder as these two celestial bodies shone in nearly equal dimension and illumination. Perfectly balanced between the sun and the moon, masculine and feminine in age-old mythology, we celebrate our good fortune at being kissed by both at once! Quietly we offer our Ho’okupu and ask permission in a traditional way to visit this sacred place. While not entirely done according to traditional protocol, our hearts feel expanded and we speak of the energy surging through our bodies. We joyfully make our way forward.
Onward and upward we climb, slowly, past signs warning of the dangers of altitude and terrain. At 9000 feet the pavement ends and becomes a steep and slippery road of volcanic soil, deeply pockmarked and rippling like a washboard. Taking the 4 wheel drive was a good idea. With each rise in elevation and bend comes a new vista. I find myself catching my breath as the moon, still visible turns orange then blue then purple before disappearing at last behind the Pacific to the west. The sun, rising higher, shines its crisp white light over ever bleaker landscapes of volcanic pumice, boulders and older and older eroded landforms worn by millennia of wind, ice and rain.
Carefully passing us on their way down, we are greeted kindly by a caravan of New Year’s Day celebrants who in time-honored Hawaiian tradition had just held ceremony on the sacred summit less than an hour earlier. We exchange smiles, waves and chakas as we carefully pass.
The domes and buildings of the telescopes come into view before the summit. Seated snugly into the mountain and scattered across the high landscape these extraordinary tools help scientists from around the world provide insight into the origins of the universe. We drink in the view of these simple yet profound structures. Knowing that their presence here is controversial because of the sacred nature of the mountain, we honor the opportunity of the most advanced science and one of the most advanced spiritual places on the planet sharing the same place. It is the collaboration of science and spirituality that is helping us advance beyond who we have been as human beings on this planet.
Outside, the thermometer reads 43 degrees Fahrenheit, but my guess is with the wind blowing at perhaps 50-70 miles per hour it will feel even colder. Yikes! As I open the door of the truck the icy wind races in, whipping up a frenzy of anything light enough to fly. Adding a few extra layers of clothing including good windbreaker jackets, we carefully make our way to the trail leading to the true summit, amazingly, a hike of only a few hundred meters.
The wind blowing powerfully at our backs, we step gingerly onto the well-worn path toward the summit hill. The cinders crunch and slip a little under our feet and our eyes drink in the vast expanse of mountain dropping below us. Gently undulating, barren slopes, devoid of any vegetation in this harsh environment, extend for a few hundred meters to the east before plummeting down toward the Pacific only miles away under the cloud layer. The clouds themselves blanket the mountain, their undulating tops perhaps a mile lower than we are from our vantage point. The sun has emerged above the clouds, rising in the deep blue winter sky casting a bright and intense white light over the mountain top. We move our feet slowly, lungs burdened by the lack of oxygen at our 14,000 foot (4300 meter) altitude. The last 100 meters or so steeply rise toward the summit, the wind growing stronger as our bodies are challenged by the terrain, the wind and the height.
As I walk begin to sing, adding my voice to the noise. My body reverberates with the vibrations of my song and begins to tingle with the energy of my full being at once completely present in this moment.
Suddenly, our eyes and ears are directed at the stone ahu sitting directly atop the true summit. Those who came in ceremony before us today have either built anew or repaired a whistling wooden framework of short sticks, lashed closely together with strong twine with enough gaps between the sticks to create a channel through which the wind blows fiercely. Anchored into the meter-high pile of stones forming the ahu, this musical instrument makes a mighty noise, amplifying the wind’s already loud wail. Below it and hanging from it are woven leis, fruit, offerings wrapped in ti leaves and other gifts. Neither Carolyn nor I are trained in Hawaiian culture or ritual, so we are uncertain of the true meanings of these offerings. Perhaps they are for Poli`ahu, the goddess who resides here, or they have another intent. We leave only words of gratitude and prayer, and add those to the items on the ahu.
My body tingling, my mind crystal clear, I circumnavigate the ahu several times before sitting at its base facing east toward the sun. The stones block the force of the wind and Carolyn soon joins me, sitting closely next to me sharing some warmth. We are both glad to have a place of relative warmth and peace. We close our eyes and drop in.
I have seen Mauna Kea in my visioning while at other sacred spots on the planet. I see it connected energetically, with broad white highways of light and information, to every other sacred site on the planet. Only a few places on Earth are as well-connected. Here at this ahu, those highways converge and sitting here, I can feel the surge of energy below my root. I am aware that as long as I am clear and present, I can be active in the exchange of energy and information moving at the speed of light around the planet and both give and receive what is needed to support the positive transformation of myself and all who dwell in our biosphere. Great change is afoot!
Dolphin Initiation
December 13, 2009
Big Island, Hawaii – Kealakekua Bay
Stepping across the volcanic stones that comprise the beach here, I and my sweetheart make our way to the edge of the gentle surf. The morning is young but the air is warming already. We carefully wade into the water and swim out toward the deeper water of the bay. Near the horizon a mother humpback whale and her calf break the surface and blow a spray of water to great cheers from the small crowd at the beach behind us. Earlier from the shore we saw spinner dolphins leap into the air from the bay we are now swimming in. We are here to meet them, to share the same ocean for awhile and to relate with them if we’re invited.
Carolyn swims out ahead, confident in her previous experience here, excited to once again play with these bright and joyful teachers. Taking my time, I slowly swim and observe small crabs and colorful fish below me on the steeply sloping sandy floor. Looking up across the sparkling surface, I see the heads of a half dozen other snorkelers bobbing and looking about as well, all of us searching for dorsal fins, noses, spray – any sign of the dolphins we’ve come to commune with. Carolyn is out there somewhere among the other swimmers but, in masks and snorkels, to my eye she’s become indistinguishable from the rest. I send her a blessing on her journey today.
I enjoy my solitude as an opportunity to be present in my own experience, open to the community of swimmers around me and the dolphins, whales and other creatures that call this place home. Swimming forward toward the mouth of the bay I say, “What I Am in the highest opportunity of relationship with the dolphins, as Why I Am Here.” I relax, open, feeling my senses beginning to tingle and suddenly without warning the water around me is alive with squeaks, squeals and clicks – the language of dolphins!
Looking ahead and to the right and left, I swim forward but can see no sign of these beings, although I hear them clearly. Now I feel their sonar penetrating deeply through my body, scanning me. But where are they?
Wow! They appear as I never imagined. Swimming from behind me, two dolphins materialize on my right, another on my left. I am escorted out toward the ocean as the dolphins match my pace. They swim forward of me for a few meters, turn around and stop. We face each other for the count of a few heartbeats pounding in my ears. Slowly, gently, one of the dolphins moves toward me and stops close enough for me to touch his nose with my hand though I keep me arms at my sides. He turns his head and looks at me deeply, his right eye gazing, curious. He clicks and moves to my right, swimming around and behind me. The two females introduce themselves one at a time, just as the first did.
As they circle clockwise around me, I spin slowly to face them. Around and around we dance. I open my awareness completely, allowing them to feel who I am, my full presence expanded in gratitude. I intuit their invitation to open to them and as I do, I feel a physical pressure in my brain and a sudden release of energy in my upper chakras. My ears, eyes, third eye and crown open. The connection between my third eye and heart is like a superhighway of energy flowing freely. Still underwater, I laugh deeply and loudly, bubbles bursting around me. The three dolphins swim away from me moving toward the shore and leap out of the water about 5 meters from where I’m hovering. I watch them re-enter the water, bubbles trailing behind them as they disappear into the beams of light filtering down through the surface and out beyond my visibility.
Have I just experienced an initiation? Yes, without a doubt. My body has changed, my awareness has opened. The many stories I’ve heard from others about the miracle of swimming with dolphins suddenly become very real for me. I get it. I get what their excitement is about. In that moment my connection with the others who have encountered dolphins in this way becomes more tangible. I recognize that I have just joined a community, consciously, that has been happily ready for me to follow the call and come out to play.
In the next hour or so, I celebrate as other dolphins come by to allow me to share in their morning play. Some stay out at the edges of my field of vision, others again come near enough to share a gaze. I watch as they swim, leap, spin below and above the water, branch off separately for a moment or, more often, swim together in small groups. I notice a quiet, sweet moment when a single dolphin joins a solitary woman, who I imagine must be a familiar friend, as they swim slowly side by side for long sinuous minutes. I get a sense that they are having a conversation, getting current with each other, sharing news of our respective societies and relating as allies on Mother Earth. I watch and learn.
Later, I sit on the shore and warm my body in the sun, now rising a little higher in the sky. I see two more whales blow near the mouth of the bay as Carolyn emerges from the sea, her wet skin shimmering, her eyes sparkling. She joins me on the beach and we laugh and share the stories of our encounters. Quietly we send a blessing out across the water and down into it, expressing gratitude for this day, and for this opportunity. What a gift of a morning! I think we will come back tomorrow…
Compassionate Communication
October 13, 2009
The Words You Say Create Your Reality.
The words you say create your reality. Dr. Marshall Rosenberg has described many examples of this in his many books. In addition to clearing your trauma and programming, I recommend that you learn about Non-Violent Communication (or NVC) and find a group near you where you can practice compassionate communication on a regular basis. If you would like to improve the way you relate through words, may I recommend, “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life”. To order the book and to learn more about NVC, please visit the Center for Nonviolent Communication: http://www.cnvc.org.
Dr. Rosenberg has identified how compassionate communication can open up new opportunities of relating, even if only one person is willing to take responsibility for how he or she is received. Dr. Rosenberg’s work has had a profound effect on how I relate with myself and others. I am deeply grateful to Dr. Rosenberg for helping me learn new ways of connecting to my feelings, my needs and to deeply care for the feelings and needs of others. Collaboration and creativity result when I apply his wisdom in my life.
Improving my emotional vocabulary has been immensely helpful to me, and I think it will help you too. I encourage you to use this LIST OF FEELINGS and LIST OF NEEDS to improve your own emotional literacy. Blessings on your journey!
“Who I Am” Statements
September 17, 2009
Woven throughout all of my work is a very powerful way to center and align the body/mind/spirit and return quickly to a state of presence. The simple phrase, “Who I Am” can have dramatic, positive affect when spoken from authority while deeply aware of your inner presence. I am deeply grateful to Brooks Greene-Barton and his Art of God program for introducing me to this simple and wonderful way of reconnecting.
So for those of you who have asked for a few examples of “Who I Am” statements to support you in your own work here are a few suggestions that I’ve found helpful.
Wake up and get started…
“Who I Am Only,
In the highest opportunity of today.”
Opening your chakras, aligning completely…
“Who I Am Only,
My energy centers open and aligned,
Synchronous with God,
In God and Beyond God.”
If you are looking for fun, instead of going to the movies or watching television, try this…
“Anywhere I am NOT only Who I Am” (now relax and notice how quickly an opportunity to clear trauma/negative energy will show up!)
To support relationship with your mate, partner, friend, ally, business opportunity, etc…
“Who I Am Only,
In alignment with (name of person to align with),
In the highest opportunity of relationship.
Sleeping can be a way to escape reality.To enjoy the benefits of sleeping while being completely present in a waking state try…
“Who I Am Only,
My body rejuvenating, reorganizing and sleeping,
While I am perfectly alert and aware,
As only Who I Am.”
Where there is pain in the body…
“Who I Am Only,
Where I feel pain or restriction,
I take complete responsibility for any trauma or karma that belongs to me,
Anything that is not mine I release completely.
Now.”